The World Inside Me =x

Since it's gonna be year 2008 soon, I'm gonna pour out all the things I've bottled up for the year 2007. Once pour out, what's left will be an empty (though will not be 100% empty) bottle for me to fill up whatever I need to, in the year 2008.

1. Planning and Organizing
I hate planning and orgainizing! No matter is in terms of gathering or project work. I just hate! For project work, I don't understand why I must be the one allocating work for the group. I just don't really like it. Everyone in the team has the right to take care of the project, not just me. PLEASE!! Someone just take charge of one project each and start allocating work, or ask members to gather together to discuss project work. No need to tell me that it's time to allocate or do project work. You all can just do it yourself. I don't really ask you all whether it's time to discuss project. However, I still need to thank you all for starting to take initiative, asking for the dicussion or what so ever to be done. Really a big thanks! It's a great improvement shown in our team. Really.. I appreciate it. I just writing out my unhappiness which happened last or last last semester whereby most of you seem to be waiting for instructions only. I also know that I'm very stubborn at times, and my temper is really bad, especially when I felt that our project is not progressing well. I know sometimes I rejected ideas or what without careful thoughts about it. I would like to apologise to all of you. I'm so sorry. (You should know who you are.)

As for planning or organizing gathering, the problem I dislike most is how to coordinate everyone's timing in order to make the gathering a successful one (though this problem is a sure problem to exist). Everytime we agreed upon a certain date and timing, there seems to be changes in the end. This feeling really sucks from head to toe. Those of you had never plan before, you would not understand how it feels. Especially when all the details are being settled that person alone, the effort being put in, the enthusiasm that in instilled in our heart, it just shattered when the plan is declared cancelled. As these feelings accumulate over time, you will just simply hate organizing outings. It's true, I don't bluff you.

2. F+S+U
No comes to talk about other things. I always have low self esteem. I don't have confidence in myself. Sometimes I really dislike myself. Asking myself the reasons for my existence in this world whereby I'm just role-playing a passerby, a loner or simply, someone invisible. No one will notice me. Ha~ Why do I feel that way? Just simple 3-alphabets reason ---> F+S+U (You guys are clever people, you should know what it stands for. There's not a need to expand out the words I guess. One clue ---> my appearance. If still don't get it, let me know.) Well, over all these years in my life, I've already gotten used to the comments by my relatives, friends etc. I've already accepted this fact, I don't deny. I'll try to work towards it, and I hope to make all of you think of me differently by 21 years old (hopefully). I"LL WORK HARD! JIA YOU!

3. My Little Whole World
There are times I really wanna shut myself in my own world. Wanna get away from all of you. I believe that it's possible for me to do that since I'm just invisible or passerby. No one will even notice that I'm missing in their lives. I'll just do whatever I like, there's not a need for me to care about what others will think about me. I can just do it my way. Plus, I no need to know what's happening around me, my friends etc. I don't need to care if my friends like me not. I'll be just ME, MYSELF and I. Isn't it great? Well.. I just can't do it! I hate the feeling of lonliness! I need to talk to people (maybe because I love to crap also.. Haha..) In the end, this thought just vanished into thin air.

4. Non-Noticeable
Since young, I've always been obedient. Good girl. Haha.. Come to think about it, I should be more rebellion. Why? It's because no one seems to take notice of me. I've came up with 2 reasons why this is so. Firstly, is I'm just too good girl and secondly, I'm not that good looking. Haha.. My bro is always getting the attention from my relatives. They'll always say he's so handsome etc. Not me. The only comment I get (if there is any), is that I'm getting fatter and ask me to go on diet. -_-''' But, as I said, I've already gotten used to it. Now, it's totally numb to me. Not that I want to be in this state, it's partly because of the gene in me. I can't really remember the age when I was slim. I think it's around 2 or 3 years old period, and that's all. Once again, I said that I'll work hard towards it and I hope to achieve some result by the age of 21. After losing attention for so many years, I'm still losing attention. But this time round is to my bro and my nephew. I'm just envy of them for being able to catch people's attention. I feel happy for them. =) As for me, just let it be. I don't really give a damn about it now.

5. Confession
Due to F+S+U, I'm very sure that no guy will like me. Well, it's true. Would you want a girlfriend who is F+S+U (for now)? Doubt so. I do have guy(s) whom I like, and whom I know will surely not like me. Sometimes it just felt so terrible to keep it inside my heart. Thus, I did made my feelings known to him though knowing that we are not possible as I'm not the type he's looking for. Somehow or rather, I felt better after making known my feelings to him. I did not regret even though rejected. Actually, I'm not sad at all as from the start, I already knew that's the answer that I'm going to get. However I still choose to confess to him in order to make myself feel better inside. If not, it's just too terrible feeling. BUT! BUT! BUT! For the latest crush which I had, I did not tell him how I feel. Not because I'm scared being rejected again. It's just because I'm now worried that once I confess to him, he might not even be a friend with me. Don't know why, I just got this feeling that if I were to do it, I'll just lose this friendship as well. In addition, I also know that I'm not the type of girl he's looking for. I'm just far too much different from the type he's looking for. I believe that this terrible feeling will soon fade away soon. YES! It will. I'm 50% done with it. Left 50% to get away from this feeling. =D

YES!! I've finished emptying the bottle in me!! Feeling so happy and light now. Wahaha! Yeah! I'm now getting ready to start a new year already. La La La~ =p (PS: Don't question me, ok? Thanks. Don't ostracise me after reading my blog. Haha.. I'm just venting out what's being kept within me for a year or more.. I'm still the crappy girl whom you know. Or rather, the girl of "few" words... Hahahahahahahahahaha... )

Last but not least, I'll try post those videos and photos which I said in my previous entry.

Ok lah. Going to watch my count down program already. See you guys soon. Happy 2008 in advance. =D Bye~

Goodbye 2007..

Wow.. One year passed so fast. Today is the last day of 2007 already. OMG!! Unbelievable!! Tomorrow's gonna be a new year for everyone.. Can you imagine we are one year older again?! Haha.. Well.. Not hard to imagine for me when I'm living with a baby. Haha.. Whenever you see the baby grew, it means you are getting older. Recalled back when I received the news that I'm gonna be an aunt, it was in the year 2006, and that's when my cute nephew was born. I can still remember when I first saw my nephew on his second day of birth in the hospital, he was so small as compared to other newborn babies. Now, he's already 14 months old and is getting taller each day. Haix.. So fast.. Time really flies.. Next year (which starts tomorrow -__-), I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm going 20! Oh gosh! Haha.. When I was a kid, I hope that I can grow up quickly to become an adult. But now, I hope I can go back to my childhood time whereby there's no worries at all, no stress, no need to care so much of my life etc.. It's totally carefree!!! (thought still gotta worry about tests and exams lahx.. Haha.. But my parents were not worry about that for me as I'll study once time is up.. Lolx.. Guessed it's a last minute study again.. No wonder lahx.. I'm still having this last minutes habit.. It's been accumulating over the years manx.. Hahaha..)

Well... This is gonna be a new year, which means is gonna be a new story of our life. I wanna earse all the unhappiness that happened during 2007 and starts with a happy life in 2008. I hope everyone of you will do the same too. For those who are graduating soon (same as me) and plans to enter the society right away, I think it's really gonna be a brand new life for you. You'll be officially declared as an working adult by then. No longer a student anymore. Gotta face the stress from work, colleagues, etc.. Wondering how is it gonna be like. Never experience before as a student, because we are nornally working as a part-timer, temp staff or attachment. Thus is not as stressful as those perm staff. However, I guess things will be very different if we were going to be a perm staff of the company. Haix.. I still cannot decide the path to take after graduation!! ARGH!!!

Oh ya.. For those of you who still don't know about it yet, my bro is already married. He got a baby named Divan =) My bro is now in NS (enrolled on 14 Dec 2007). He looks different when back from NS. He looks more matured than before (last time looks like a kid like that.. Haha..) Like his hair style.. Lolx.. I mean he looks much better with this botak head.. Haha.. His wife asked him to keep short hair or better still, botak head, even after NS.. Haha.. My mum and me agreed with her too.. Haha.. He said that he'll keep short hair instead, but with longer fringe lahx.. =)

Will show you guys some photos of my nephew and my handsome looking bro some other time.. Haha.. Will make an entry of my nephew from his birth till now (showing some photos and videos only lahx.. Haha..)

Enjoy your last day of 2007! =D

long time since i played badminton

Wa.. It's been a long time since I last played badminton. Finally I got the chance to play my favourite sport again today! Haha.. Guessed what time did we played badminton this morning? 9am manx.. The time which I normally wake up at.. Haha.. Well.. Gotta thanks Shin Yee for asking us out for a game, and thanks for Janice for joining too. Coreen didn't manage to join us due to project work, but it's alright.. We'll have another game together another time bahx.. I hope can organise a game whereby we can gather other few friends and we'll go sports hall to play.. =)

After the game, we went to the neighbourhood optical shop to look for spectacles as we are going to make a pair tomorrow already, so we decided to check out which shop we wanna go. In the end, we had chosen the shop which offered a package offer (we got budget.. haha..) We've chosen the design that we wanted and had it reserved already. Shin Yee had chosen a red coloured frame spec and me, a purple coloured half frame spec. Haha.. Hope I will regret choosing that spec bahx.. Haha..

Haix.. School's starting soon.. Sian.. A lot of things seems uncompleted like that. So many projects, tests when school starts.. Around 3 more months I'm going to graduate from poly already, and yet I still unsure what I wanted to do after that. Should I go uni? Work? Part-time degree? If go uni, which uni? Haix.. Everytime think of this question, so vexed manx.. Dun wanna think already!!! Haha..

a new phone for....

omg! i've bought a new phone manx.. but it's not for myself.. it's for my MUMMY!! so happy.. though it's a new phone, but the functions were not that great.. coz she said she only needs a basic phone will do.. need not have so many functions..

yea.. her phone has been using for years, she didn't want to change coz she says it's a waste of money as she only uses it to call and sms (sometimes).. but, recently, my nephew took her phone and threw it on the ground, and it spoilt.. as in, we could not hear the phone ringing sometimes.. so i told her to go buy another phone.. she said no money, thus i said i'll buy for her lahx.. since i did work during my semester holidays the other time round..

so we went to a nearby mobile shop to have a look on the phones... and she saw this slim Nokia phone (she likes slim de coz she said easier to put in the pocket.. haha..) not much functions, but got bluetooth and camera.. i told her get one with camera de (coz initially she said no nid camera lah, coz only calling and sms-ing only.. but i told her got camera better, den can take photos of baby mahx.. haha..) and also, she said no nid get so expensive phone.. (it coz around $100 plus only) since this phone met all her 3 criterias (slim, basic functions and not expensive), so we decided to buy it..

wa.. this is my first time buying a phone for her manx.. i didn't even buy a phone for myself before.. haha... but i'm very happy lahx.. she happy, i oso happy.. coz price doesn't matter to me at all if were to buy smth for my mummy.. as long as she likes it will do.. =)

it's all about U

Well.. Suddenly wanna show you guys some cute photos of my baby nephew (Divan) and one video of him doing little actions: smile, yang yang (sayang), good morning, bye bye etc. haha.. the way he smile is so funny and so cute manx.. haha.. his appearance in this world has changed my life.. well.. good and bad of coz.. good in the sense that, he makes my life more interesting.. haha.. bad in the sense sometimes i'm being tied down by him coz sometimes i need to help my mum babysit, so if wanna go out, i dun feel like going out coz if i go out, my mum will be very tired and busy.. so i would rather stay at home sometimes to help her..

but.. i still enjoy looking after him.. haha.. so fun and so tiring.. coz he kept wanna walk here walk there.. carrying things around.. (even wan carry me lahx.. haha..) the chairs so heavy, he oso wanna carry.. then he can't manage to move carry that chair, he cried.. haha.. he's very active lahx.. cannot stop moving unless he sleeps manx.. walk lah, climb lah, crawl lah.. omg! haha.. muz be very careful when looking after him manx.. haha..

well.. it's so fun looking at baby growing up.. and it makes me realise that, in babies' world, one day makes a great difference.. for example, yesterday he was still unable to walk, but today, you can see him walk a little.. that's so amazing manx.. everytime i saw him learn new things, i felt so happy and proud of him..

haha.. okie lahx.. don't wanna continue to talk liaox.. if not, can write for days and still cannot finish my essay.. haha..

enjoy the photos and the video bahx.. hope you guys will like them.. =D

welcome to my world

hey guys.. this is my newly set-up blog.. sorry that my blog is not nice.. very bored.. very plain.. coz i'm still not sure how to change the blog skin all this.. i'll try to learn then try to change.. paiseh ah.. i'm living in duno wad age de.. still duno how to do this blog tingy..

anyway.. i hope that i'll be back to update very often lahx.. haha.. coz i'm more like san fen zhong re du.. later after a while, this blog might be gone liaox.. lol.. BUT!!! i'll still try my best to keep updating this blog of mine bahx.. hope all of u won't be bored to death while reading it... haha....