Thursday, April 1, 2010

All I wanted to say is...

Asked myself this question again. If I ever have a choice, would I still choose accounting as my job? Answer is a "no". I'm really unsure if I'm really interested in accounting or just because to earn living. Until now, I still can't answer this question.

Something is very right. If you ever want to do something, just go and have a try at it while young. Not like this age of mine now, it's just all too late. =(

If ever I can turn back the clock, I want to learn a number of things or talents so called. And just pick up my courage to take part in competition to gain experience, and to improve further, hoping that one day I will make it. Even if fail to make it, at least I can tell myself that I've already tried. No regrets. In another words, yes, I've regretted.

For these few days, my thought of wanting to try to do what I want to do, is back again. My mind wondering off at times. Of course I know it's impossible to go for it now. Maybe, right from the start, it has always been a mission impossible. Of course, I did realise it long time ago. I can't compare with others at all. There's nothing good and special about me that can enable to work in the area which I'd like to work in.

Ha! Maybe accounting is still the best option for me. Let "the area of work" that I've always wanted to venture into, be a dream. One day, the thought will slowly diminish. Right? Ha~

Sometimes, I really feel that, being myself is difficult. I always ask myself, 想要做自己真的有那么难吗?Why must I behave or dress like what all others are doing? I just don't feel that comfortable, why can't I be myself? Every individual is different. If you think I'm boyish, so? I like it, can't I? If I feel like dressing like a girl, I will. To me, be comfortable with who you are is more important than anything.

Love the show 就想赖着你 because it really said what I wanted to say so much.

杨果:
1. 我相信,总有一天我也会遇到一个懂得珍惜我、在乎我的人。不管我有没有钱,不管我漂不漂亮,他都会永远爱我……永远爱我……
(I believe, that one day, I will meet someone who knows how to Cherish me, irregardless if I'm rich, pretty.. He will love me forever.. )

2. 你不要提醒我什么是事实,我知道什么是事实,事实就是我没有看清楚我自己是什么样条件的女孩子,我竟然还敢不自量力的去妄想一份令人羡慕的爱情......
(Don't remind me what the truth is.. I know what is the truth.. The truth is that I didn't have a good look at myself of what condition I am as a girl, and I still dare to dream of having a love that people will be envy of..)

(Ps: Sorry for the translation. I've done my best. Haha~)

For the first sentence, though I don't really believe, but I can only hope. These two sentences are what I have in mind always. This is the drama which speaks what I wanted to say. I really know what type of girl I am.. I do..

Sometimes, I really feel that, if I can always live in a world of drama, isn't it good? Everytime will have different encounter, different scenarios.. Not just love I mean. Includes other things happening in a show. Maybe friends, family etc. Dramas seems to be a more interesting life to live.

I really feel that I'm lost in life. My job, is this what I really want? Frankly speaking, although I always said that I aim to be Financial Controller, Finance Director, Accountant etc.. I cannot see a future in me, going into this line. I really don't know if I can really succeed.

Like I said, since I can't switch to the area which I have more interest in as I just simply not as good as those people (in any aspects )in that line. I know myself.. Maybe can't even compare with a passerby. Maybe, sticking to accounting as my rice bowl, will be a good choice. Isn't it?